So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
