so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
