I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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