It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
