watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
