I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
