My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you made out with another girl for some wings
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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