the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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