How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
