dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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