I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize