its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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