Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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