I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
