I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
