Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
