Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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