I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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