3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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