i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
