this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
