New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
