So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
