I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
