Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
