Sponge bath it is.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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