It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it because I queefed?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
