Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
honey bunches of taint.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
