and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You ate ashes out of my bong
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
