youre lurking in front of me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
