This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
