How'd it feel making her break her religion?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize