We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
