I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
false alarm, still single
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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