we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize