Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
