I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He has the fingertips of a God
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