watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
