Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
