so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
