I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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