yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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