Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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