I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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