farters have to be the big spoon...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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