so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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