i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
