I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize