i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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