ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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