My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
