You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
