youre lurking in front of me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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