I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
