HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
