So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
