I just made out with a guy for $7.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
