CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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