That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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