Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
